


If Be Without You

by RobNips



Series: Sapphic September 2019 [8]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blake Belladonna Didn't Leave The White Fang, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 12:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20564360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobNips/pseuds/RobNips
Summary: Blake wrapped her arms around her waist, drifting through camp, through the injured, with fear weighing down her heart. She should have been there, should have been beside Ilia when the time came. She could have protected her, maybe helped the mission along somewhat too - but she would have been with Ilia.Written for Sapphic September - "I thought you were dead."Can be read as Standalone





	If Be Without You

“Adam,” 

Blake knows she shouldn’t be bothering him now, not with smoke still lingering in the air and others wounds still gone untreated. She didn’t need to be on the mission to know it was a disaster - the dust mine was prepared, more guards than they’ve ever seen and more ammunition that the White Fang could ever hope to have under their belts. As soon as their forces charged, they were forced to retreat - scatter back into the woods and regroup. 

Blake had seen her brothers and sisters limp back to their camp one by one. Adam among them, tired but ultimately unharmed. He found a place to sit, to think over his failings - he lifted his head to face her, daring to go on with her question. Blake decided the risk was worth the information she needed.

“Where’s Ilia?” 

She didn’t have the luxury of hoping her voice was steady, even a child could tell she was terrified. Not of Adam’s possible retaliation, but of the answer. Others have come back bloody, shaken, and Ilia was not among them. Not as far as Blake could see. 

She felt her pulse race and her palms sweat. Adam only shook his head, a heavy sigh escaping him. “She heard the order to retreat, but I lost sight of her in the woods.” 

Blake turned away, hiding the tightness of her throat and stinging in her eyes behind her hair. She walked from Adam before he could say anything else, his answer was enough for her. Blake wrapped her arms around her waist, drifting through camp, through the injured, with fear weighing down her heart. 

She should have been there, should have been beside Ilia when the time came. Even if they hadn’t gone forward with their relationship, Ilia was still her dearest friend, her one confidant, her solace in the mess of the world. They covered each other’s mistakes, calmed each other’s fears, and protected each other when needed. If Ilia slipped up and Blake wasn’t there for her, after all the time Ilia had been, she would never forgive herself. 

Blake was too consumed in her fear for her own good, more often than not. Adam told her it made her weak, Ilia told her it could fuel her strength. Now she only felt weakened, another thing beating her down and another guilt to hold onto. Blake circled their camp twice, and no sign of Ilia only solidified her anxiety. 

She had to sit when she felt herself shaking. No use in making others worry about her, she just needed a moment to calm herself. Ilia was strong, capable, able to literally hide from anyone. If she made it to the woods, she could make it back to the camp. No soldiers would be able to find her if she didn’t want to be found. Even still, anxiety wracked through Blake. She scratched her nails against the skin of her arms, attempting deep, calm breaths. Ilia was fine. She had to be. 

Blake didn’t realize when her eyes had closed, or when the camp started to rest, or when the sun had started to come up behind her. She flinched awake in her seat, someone had ran behind her, their steps disturbing her. Blake wiped at her face, swallowing the lump in her throat before rising shakily to her feet. 

She felt numb, she wanted to curl up in her tent and pretend all of yesterday was a bad dream. Her last casual words to Ilia rang in her head. She had stolen a kiss from Blake before running off with the others, they were so sure their mission would go smoothly. The stone that had formed in Blake’s stomach only felt heavier at the thought.

A few more of her brothers rushed past her, Blake lifted her head. They ran towards the front of their camp, her ears perked up for the first time all day. She heard a shout from the front of the crowd. “More are back! They’re alive!”

“What?” Blake didn’t realize she said the words aloud, she was already pushing through the camp with the rest of them. A crowd had gathered near the gates, more injured Fang members limping back into open arms to receive medical attention. Blake hopped up on her toes, trying to see over the taller members around her, her heart roaring in her ears. Even if Ilia was back, yelling for her, she didn’t know if she would hear her over her own blood. 

Blake abandoned her tactic of staying on her toes, instead crouching lower to push past people. She could smell the sweat and mud and blood around her, blinding forcing her way through the crowd. Someone wrapped a hand around her arm, Blake gasped a “hey!” before she was being pulled forward, her lips crashing into another’s.

Every one of her muscles tensed, Blake tried to pull away before her eyes could focus - meeting the light pink of Ilia’s iris that only appeared when she was in bliss. Her hands cupped Blake’s cheeks, who let her eyes fall closed as she melted into the kiss. The chaos around them faded away, her heart fluttered instead of hammered, her hands found Ilia’s warm skin and squeezed as if she would be lost again if Blake let go. 

Ilia separated their mouths, only to pull Blake close in her arms. Blake’s ears fell back as she clung to Ilia and buried her face in her neck. “I thought you were dead.” She choked out, digging her nails into the other’s torn uniform. They moved to press their foreheads together, Blake felt hot tears run down her face. “I thought you were dead.”

“No,” Ilia’s voice was scratchy, but strong. Confident. “No, no. I’d never do that to you.” Her thumb brushed across Blake’s cheek, she nodded so Blake could follow her lead. “You hear me? It’s fine. It’s all okay.” 

“Okay,” Blake let herself nod, feeling her heart finally start to calm down. “Okay. I see you.”

“Good.” Illia pressed a kiss to her forehead, hands trailing to smooth down her hair. 

They stayed in their embrace, the crowd around them forced to push around them to get through. Eventually they took each other’s hand, making their way back through the camp. Blake took a deep breath, noting that Ilia wasn’t bleeding anywhere, just disheveled and dirty. 

“I went back to make sure others could get away.” She shrugged a shoulder. “We couldn’t lose more than we already had.”

“I understand,” Blake nodded, and squeezed her hand. The cause was bigger than any one of them, even if it meant Blake had one nerve-wracking night. She kept her grip on Ilia’s hand, solidifying her presence. She was okay. They were okay. They’ll live to fight another day. 

“Just,” Blake stopped her, making Ilia face her. Her stormy gray eyes were filled with intensity, Blake couldn’t help but press a kiss to her cheek. “Don’t do that without me again.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo! I'm finally getting back to the angst I know lol - fluff will return though.  
Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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